Here I am on the sofa in my PJs with my boyfriend, my dog, and a cup of cocoa. This should be relaxing, and it is, to some extent. But I am restless, too.

I had a productive day today. I completed everything on my to-do list, which included:

-Washing the dishes
-Cleaning the litter box
-Taking out the trash
-Finishing the laundry
-Changing the bedclothes
-Straightening up the bedroom
-Vacuuming the bedroom
-Getting started on undecorating the Christmas tree

This is a pretty full day for me. In my unemployed mopiness I can and often do spend entire days sitting at the kitchen table (or, even worse, in bed) piddling on the Internet and checking various job posting websites entirely too frequently. It's been nearly a month since the semester ended and one would think or hope that I'd have used this time to get a lot of reading done, or to have worked on some writing, or to have cultivated a new hobby. Or even just to watch a lot of movies I've never seen or something. But I've really done nothing of the sort. I don't keep the house clean, I don't cook gourmet dinners every night, and I haven't cultivated an exercise habit. It's become pretty clear that I make a terrible homemaker.

I am still waiting to hear back from the temp agency. I am still applying for other jobs as I find them. I am trying to stay positive and not worry about the fact that we really are running out of money. I'll have a residual student loan check coming soon. I didn't want to have to live on that money, but better that than not having any money at all.

Anyway, my point. I do have one, I promise. With all of this sitting around I've had a lot of time to think, and the start of a new year always makes me introspective anyway. I've been thinking about the fact that in a way I have done what many people would consider the hardest part: I quit a job I didn't particularly like. I leapt and had faith that the net would appear. I'm still waiting for the net, but the important part is that I did indeed make the leap. I'm unemployed and I can make anything I want out of it. What is it that I want?

Logic dictates that I do something with this master's degree that I am a mere 3 hours away from completing. That's been the guiding force behind my job search. Obviously I love Women's & Gender Studies and I would love to have a job relevant to my degree, both because I'm interested in the field and because it would be nice to feel that all of this education was not for naught. But there is also this other, crazy part of me that wants to do something else, that wants to become a freelance writer, or a web designer, or a baker or chef, or some other sort of passionate, free-spirited thing. The sorts of jobs I've been applying for virtually guarantee that I will be installing myself in yet another office or cubicle. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; I've done work in these sorts of environments that has been incredibly challenging and rewarding. But what if I did something else?

The question, of course, is what. And there's also the issue of time; if I wanted to try something freelancey and/or entrepreneurial, I should have started working on it back in August, when I was teaching and taking classes but also had a lot of free time on my hands and several months worth of income taken care of. There's really no time left now. I need full-time employment - or full-time income, anyway - as soon as possible.

I'm sure that eventually the temp agency will call, and then eventually one of the other places will call, and I'll have a full-time job and benefits again (that's another thing; I only have 6 days of health insurance left). But in the meantime, I can't help but feel that I ought to be doing something worthwhile with my time. Something that only the unemployed can do. Besides, you know, spending the day in my pajamas eating cookies. What will it be?